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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071425">Secrets (보여줘 네 비밀을 다)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekomimichan/pseuds/sunkyushine'>sunkyushine (nekomimichan)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Bottom Kim Jongin | Kai, Dubious Morality, Enemies to Lovers, Exhibitionism, Explicit Sexual Content, Football | Soccer, Kink Discovery, M/M, Masturbation, Porn With Plot, Praise Kink, Recreational Drug Use, Resolved Sexual Tension, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Shameless Smut, Top Lu Han, Unhealthy Relationships, Voyeurism</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:02:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,950</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24071425</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nekomimichan/pseuds/sunkyushine</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kim Jongin is absolutely positive that he hates Lu Han. He's also somewhat positive that Lu Han is the most beautiful human being he's ever laid eyes on.  Sehun argues that Jongin has a weird Lu Han fetish going on.<br/></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kim Jongin | Kai/Lu Han, Minor or Background Relationship(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Hey, Playboy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic is based on the prompt: #RX.011 – "Person A and Person B hate each other, but that doesn't stop Person A from letting Person B peep on him, when he's changing and sometimes masturbating." </p><p>title &amp; chapter names are from exo's playboy, hope you'll enjoy reading~~</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kim Jongin remembers his first time at the soccer team trials in his high school. It had rained earlier the day, and the ground of the practice field was very much moist, petrichor flooded Jongin’s olfactory senses the second he stepped foot into the field. He remembers feeling giddy and excited like a pre-schooler on his first fieldtrip; he remembers not being able to contain the said excitement and energy; he remembers a lot of shifting around, twitching, and biting on his lips.  </p><p>Years later, he is struck with an odd sense of nostalgia as he takes in the image of the cloudy afternoon weather and the scent of wet earth once more. He’s a lot calmer and more collected now, but the light-headedness from being a freshman is present nonetheless as he shifts on his feet in his sports attire. His eyes have been wandering all over the place and the people surrounding him non-stop when they end up landing on a surprisingly familiar figure; it almost makes Jongin choke on his breath. </p><p>Jongin remembers a lot about this person. He has so many memories back from when he was a fourteen-year-old high school freshman the other was an eighteen-year-old senior exchange student from China, they’d met during the soccer team trials from his freshman year in high school. <em> Déjà-vu </em>, he dares to name the burn in his gut. It’s almost as though he’s four years younger so suddenly, and he can almost visualize the light brown, almost ginger locks covering the other’s forehead, the blue socks he was wearing that day and the chuckle he gave Jongin when he noticed just how restless he was. </p><p>Except that they’re in college now and the other has his hair pushed back and parted asymmetrically instead of the light brown-gingerish curly bangs. Lu Han has always been above the standards of his age group anyways, Jongin catches himself appreciating as he discreetly gives him a once-over from the side. The first thing he remembers noticing about Lu Han back then was that he had the most well-crafted facial features Jongin had ever laid his virgin teenage eyes on, and that he seemed really sweet, smiling at him encouragingly despite not knowing him at all.  </p><p>Lu Han has grown well, Jongin notes. His skin is still ridiculously smooth, and now in addition to that he’s supporting a somewhat attractive stubble that contrasts with his dainty facial features, but somehow he pulls it off. He has wider shoulders now, with a better-built body, and his legs are even better than before, stronger with all the muscles soccer has given him. Jongin watches him make small talk with the pre-existing members of the team, it’s almost like high school all over again; which is not exactly the best series of memories Jongin has in his collection.  </p><p>Watching as Lu Han’s pretty hands play with the whistle hanging on his neck is not exactly the best pastime activity Jongin can come up with, but it sort of happens anyway. He doesn’t know what to feel about it, really, because one thing he remembers from a year spent with Lu Han is that he did not send him off on good terms. He tastes the bitterness on his tongue again after four whole years, feels the spite in the pit of his stomach, almost as if he’s an angsty teenager again. He kind of feels bad upon discovering that the hate lingers still, and that he’s apparently capable of holding grudges. It’s not a very nice feeling to say the least, this pettiness he finds in himself. </p><p>The coach blows his own whistle just when Lu Han decides to look towards Jongin’s general direction out of the blue, and Jongin manages to seize the exact second to catch the surprise washing over the elder’s frustratingly handsome face when they end up making eye contact. He didn’t even know that Lu Han has been studying in Korea, let alone in this university, so he can very much empathize with the shock. He ignores it though, the whole interaction, and walks towards the coach; carefully postponing the talk he’s probably going to end up doing with Lu Han later. </p><p>The coach clears his throat. He seems to be in his forties, typical Korean face but with a nice built, though he’s rather short. Kind of the dilf type, Jongin smirks to himself when the thought crosses his mind. </p><p>“I’m not going to say much. If you’re here now, that means you have confidence in your soccer skills and that passion is exactly what I’m looking to see in my team. I’ll be watching each of you from the bleachers, and your team captain Lu Han will help you out on the field. Good luck.” </p><p>Jongin watches with an irritated expression as the coach steps away from the centre and Lu Han takes his place instead. Because why yes, of course Lu Han would be the team captain. Right. </p><p>“Hello.” </p><p>He greets first, Jongin doesn’t flinch when Lu Han’s eyes land on him in an instant. He shoves his hands inside his shorts’ pockets and leans his weight on his left leg, trying to seem indifferent. </p><p>Instead of bothering with a speech Lu Han immediately starts talking tactics. It’s odd to hear his voice again, to watch as he puckers his lips more than necessary when he’s focused on something, his accent getting thicker the more he talks. The fact that Lu Han is effortlessly mesmerizing grinds every single one of Jongin‘s gears.  </p><p>”We’ll be dividing into two teams. I’ll be the captain of the first team, and the team captain number two, please step forward.” </p><p>Jongin watches the crowd with expectant eyes, and soon enough another very familiar face is making his appearance by his side. Jongin decides to just accept the fact that life hates him when Kim Minseok notices him and flashes him a grin. He’s not really surprised to find him by Lu Han’s side after all these years since they were basically bound by the hip, it’s just that he wasn’t on the best terms with him either, and the fact that these two once again came to him as a package deal does nothing but double his annoyance.  </p><p>They’re divided into two teams, Jongin ends up in Lu Han’s team. Suprisingly, Lu Han doesn’t try anything on him. No dark sarcasm, nor any biting remarks with implications underneath; he focuses solely on tactics. Only after he’s done talking, though, after he tells the team to do some warm-ups, then he stays back to give Jongin a once-over, a smirk on his lips. </p><p>“I see you’re still trying.” </p><p>Jongin simply scoffs, which clearly amuses Lu Han. </p><p>“Yeah, I don’t prefer to suck dick to make it, unlike some people, so I have no other option but to actually put my skills out there.”  </p><p>Jongin didn’t mean to be so vulgar about it, but the pressed anger bursts out. Lu Han lets out a bitter laugh in return, it lacks the humour. </p><p>“Looking forward to your performance today, Kim.” </p><p>Something snaps in his eyes, the way he’s looking at Jongin feels almost like waking up from a nightmare, but Jongin’s had his share of nightmares to be intimidated. The way that familiar glint in Lu Han’s gaze twists his pretty features into something darker is just another reason why Jongin can’t stand him, he squints his eyes, feeling like the other has more to say. </p><p>“Whichever way you wanna interpret.” </p><p>Lu Han finishes, pointing to his crotch with his eyes and raising his eyebrows suggestively, Jongin decides not to reply. Lu Han proudly grins again before turning his back to walk over to where the rest of their team are warming up. </p><p>“You better make it to the team this time.” </p><p>He comments without bothering to at least turn his head to the side. </p><p>“I will.” </p><p>Jongin snarls under his breath, following him from a safe distance to join the warm-ups. </p><p>- </p><p>Jongin is quite literally drenched in sweat and his clothes are covered in mud by the time the practice match ends, his and Lu Han’s team outscores Minseok’s by two points. The sound of his blood pumped through his veins rings inside his eardrums, the euphoria high from winning makes him feel dizzy, he chuckles to himself. He hates to admit it; but Lu Han actually does a decent job as the team captain. His tactics proved their worth during the actual game, and he didn’t miss not even one pass thrown his way, Jongin hates that the new Lu Han is even better at soccer than the old Lu Han.  </p><p>He eyes the rest of the people around him as the coach makes his speech. All around him are familiar faces carrying just about the same adrenaline high, the dirt on their clothes and the sweat dripping from the tips of their hair strands. <em> This </em> , he thinks to himself, is what he loves so much about soccer; the fact that no one cares about how you look as long as you put your head in the game.  You can sweat and get dirty and smell like a wild bison, injure yourself or get a few scratches and scars here and there; but it doesn’t matter. No one cares whether you have a pretty face or the way your knees are slightly wobbly as long as you’re giving your all in the field.  <em> That  </em>makes him feel, for lack of a better word, flawless. </p><p>He feels himself zoning out when his gaze falls on Lu Han. It annoys him so much that Lu Han still manages to look good with half of his face covered in actual mud and with his dark brown locks sticking to his bright forehead. It just isn’t fair, honestly, just how easy Lu Han seems to get whatever he wants from life, especially from the success department. Jongin lets out a breathy groan, his eyes still glued on Lu Han, arms crossed across his chest as he takes in the elder’s whole appearance. Lu Han fits every concept of those born with a silver spoon inside their mouths; the looks, the skills, the confidence, the fortune – he has them all, Jongin <em> hates  </em>him. </p><p>The bitterness surges right back up from the depths of his mind before he knows it, he can’t shake the freshman high schooler off himself. When he finishes his ogling with a glare straight into Lu Han’s face, he’s very startled to find the older male checking him back out. He’s determined not to let his stance falter, so he grits his jaw and keeps up the poker face as Lu Han takes his sweet time staring. Jongin patiently watches the elder’s eyes travelling down to his legs and then right back up all the way to his shoulders, across his arms, then all over his torso, lingering by the stains of dirt splashed over his collar bones, the sweat dripping down his Adam’s apple.  </p><p>To be frank, Jongin very much knows that he’s grown well. He’s more tanned and a lot taller than before, taller than Lu Han now. He’s grown into his pre-existing gorgeous facial features, and his body has bloomed beautifully with the help of both gymnastics and soccer, his steps and gaze a lot more confident than they used to be. Jongin <em> knows </em> ,  Jongin  knows exactly what and who he is now, and he reminds himself just that.  <em> You’re not fourteen anymore </em>, he repeats and repeats inside his mind as he tries to stand tall against Lu Han’s eyes. </p><p>Jongin tries his chance to dash out in an instant the second the coach dismisses them, but he fails. Before he can register the situation, he has an arm slung over his shoulder and a body pressing in close. </p><p>“You did well today, Kim.” </p><p>Lu Han, the owner of the arm and the body, comments. Jongin tries his best not to scowl, he also tries to step away from the elder’s hold, but Lu Han only pulls him closer. </p><p>“Didn’t know you could <em> actually  </em>play, you’ve clearly improved.” </p><p>Jongin rolls his eyes. </p><p>“Right.” </p><p>He replies dismissively, not finding the energy in himself for a rebuttal. Luckily for him, Lu Han is distracted with a sultry look thrown his way from one of the pre-existing members of the team and he gets his limbs off Jongin in an instant to quicken his steps to catch up with the other guy. Is Jongin surprised? Nope. </p><p>Jongin watches Lu Han enter the locker rooms with a hand shoved inside the other guy’s back pocket. The scene is a familiar one, though it does take Jongin aback for it has been a long time since he’s been exposed to it. No one back in high school were so open about their sexual intentions at schoolgrounds, except Lu Han, why yes of course. He had always stuck out, one way or another. </p><p>Jongin remembers Lu Han from the locker rooms. He remembers a mud-covered Lu Han pushing a mud-covered Lee Donghae into a shower stall to share, he remembers Kim Minseok hollering at them. The most striking memory of Lu Han getting freaky on school grounds is when Jongin barged into the locker rooms that one time after he was done with his gymnastics practice and walked in on Lu Han mid-action. </p><p>It was a little past the practice hours, for Jongin had spent a little more time practicing by himself in the school gym, his legs were shaking from the fatigue he’d brought upon himself, he remembers. He had basically dragged himself into the locker rooms, desiring nothing more than to just dash in-and-out of the shower in light speed and just head home, straight to his bed, into his fresh bedsheets. He remembers just the thought of being in his bed making him groan and he remembers groaning the exact moment he pushed the door of the practice room open, only to be welcomed with somebody else groaning back in reply.  </p><p>He remembers the shock, him freezing on the spot. He remembers Lu Han and he remembers Cho Kyuhyun, another senior, making out against one of the lockers by the shower. He remembers noticing their lack of clothing, Lu Han only in a towel and Cho Kyuhyun in a boxer, and he remembers seeing Lu Han’s hand moving inside Kyuhyun’s boxers under the dim lights of the locker rooms. He remembers gasping from the shock, and he remembers Lu Han turning his head towards him, a very vivid memory; Lu Han’s heavy gaze lingering for a few seconds before a wicked smirk made its way through his face, twisting his beautiful features into something different, something <em> wild </em>.  </p><p>“Hello there, Jonginnie, enjoying the show?” </p><p>His voice was nothing like the one he uses under the daylight, and he looked nothing like the sweet Lu Han that Jongin thought he knew. He remembers stuttering, submerged in all the strange feelings he’s never encountered before. He remembers Lu Han’s voice sending shivers down his spine. </p><p>“I- I just need to- use the showers…” </p><p>He’d managed to choke out, he remembers Lu Han blatantly laughing at him, and he remembers feeling a little humiliated. He remembers the unfamiliar ache between his legs when he noticed Cho Kyuhyun’s messed up state, lips swollen from all the kissing and slick with saliva, pupils blown and gaze unsteady, holding onto Lu Han for support and rubbing his knee restlessly against Lu Han’s thighs. </p><p>“Of course you do.” </p><p>Lu Han had purred, dragging Cho Kyuhyun to another corner of the locker room to give Jongin some space. Jongin remembers hearing the two of them throughout his entire shower, he remembers going home with a very uncomfortable hard-on, he remembers hearing Cho Kyuhyun begging Lu Han in his head for the following few nights. </p><p>The locker room showers are a mess of mud and dirt as he steps back to reality. Most of these folks are not shy to shower together it seems, but Jongin stays back, not comfortable around strangers when he lacks the necessary covering. As he waits for someone to be done, he stands in front of a foggy mirror and check out his reflection, further inspecting his face from a close distance, examining his pores and skin. He carefully pushes his bangs up and inspects the scar running from his cheekbone up to his forehead on the left side of his face. It’s a gruesome scar, looking more like a burn mark than a cut, its tone contrasting with that of his own skin. He quickly covers the scar again with his hair. </p><p>- </p><p>He takes off his clothes and wraps a towel around his hips, finally comfortable to go and have his shower now that not many people are left. The shower area still has a few showers running, steam fogging up his view, because of the material sounds echo through the walls. He randomly pushes open a shower stall, and suddenly, he’s met with a scene which may probably emotionally scar him. He freezes on the spot once more. </p><p>“Hello there.” </p><p>It’s Lu Han, again, this time he’s pushed against a wall and with a pretty dude between his legs that Jongin doesn’t know of, voice breathy as he speaks. Lu Han has a fist curled around the guy’s hair, holding him steady as the guy sucks him off, clearly unbothered by people watching or hearing, nor the fact that they’re quite literally in public. He’s mainly just focused on Lu Han. Lu Han brushes the guy’s black hair back gently, and coos, to which he gets a soft moan in return. Lu Han has a decent dick, Jongin notices, thick and slightly veiny, no pubic hair, can fit inside Jongin’s entire fist, probably. And why is Jongin thinking about Lu Han’s dick in his hand now... Just why?  </p><p>“Are you going to just... stand there, Jongin?” </p><p>It takes Jongin a moment to snap out of it. He blinks, unable to get his eyes off the porn in front of him, embarrassing. Lu Han lets out a breathy laugh. </p><p>“Jongdae-yah, look, Jonginnie can’t take his eyes off you. You’re that good, baby.” </p><p>He praises the guy on the floor, his tone is once again different from his normal speaking voice. It’s huskier, deeper; Jongin hates it, Jongin loves it. But why? The dude on the floor, Jongdae, side-eyes Jongin for a quick second before opening his jaw wide and taking Lu Han all the way in, Lu Han throws his head back slowly and he opens his mouth wide, letting out a silenced moan as he holds onto Jongdae’s hair once again. Jongin can see the whole package sliding bit by bit inside Jongdae’s throat. <em> It’s kind of hot </em>. </p><p>“Yeah, honey, just like that, take it all in.” </p><p>Jongin stands there, watching as Lu Han shallowly bucks his hips and brushes Jongdae’s black hair gently with his pretty fingers. He doesn’t know how it happens, but he suddenly can’t step away. </p><p>“You’re so good, Jongdae. Yeah... you’re amazing.” </p><p>Lu Han praises the guy once more and Jongin is shaken with the sudden desire of being praised. The abrupt vision of replacing himself with Jongdae is what makes him shake the daze off, the vision of himself on his knees and Lu Han brushing his hair and telling him he’s doing good. Why and why and, just, <em> why </em> ?  Jongin  finally takes a step back, suddenly aware of the heaviness between his own legs. Lu Han tilts his head to the side and looks at  Jongin  with his hooded eyes, his vision probably blurry for he looks very out of it. He’s just... so hot. It’s really unfair.  <em> Life </em>, is really unfair. </p><p>“Ah, leaving already, Jonginnie? That’s a shame.” </p><p>He curls his fist tightly inside Jongdae’s hair and the latter groans over the dick in his mouth. When Jongdae opens his eyes to look up at Lu Han Jongin has to swallow down a moan. Lu Han pouts, his expression has both a fond and a mocking tone to it, suits him well. </p><p>“Jongdae here likes it when people acknowledge his talents, right? Tell Jonginnie that you like being watched, honey. You like it when people see how much of a cockslut you are, yeah? You like it when they know how much you love your mouth stuffed full?” </p><p>Jongdae grips on Lu Han’s thighs and Jongin frowns, taking a few more steps away from the shower stall for his own sake. His mouth waters when Jongdae looks up at Lu Han again and nods his head, with the dick still in his mouth. Jongin swallows down another moan. He waddles to another shower stall, having seen enough, and he is not surprised, but very annoyed to unwrap his towel only to be greeted with an achingly hard, fully erect penis of his own. He blames his hormones for the situation, hears Lu Han chuckle from his own stall. </p><p>Jongin comes to the conclusion that Lu Han won‘t let him live if he sees him with the hard on, and he can also see that he won‘t be able to blue ball himself when Lu Han and Jongdae are right there, and the hot, steamy air of the showers contribute to his horniness. He gives up and takes his dick in his hand, and oh God this is really all he needed all this time. He uses the shower gel for makeshift lube this once and starts stroking himself cautiously. He gradually builds up a rhythm, jerking himself off under the spray and holding back all the moans, trying his best not to make any sound. He hates Lu Han once more, with his entire being. Especially with his swollen, ridiculously hard cock. </p><p>Jongdae and Lu Han finish off and leave at some point, Jongin doesn’t notice them as his head is thickly clouded. All he can concentrate on is the smell of the shower gel and his own hand moving on his shaft, up and down and up and down and rubbing and squeezing; he burries his face on his own shoulder as he reaches his climax, cum spirting out and washing down the drain as quickly as it hits the ground. He’s not proud of what he’s done, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t feel any shame either. Maybe getting a little kinky is not so bad after all, Jongin thinks after he comes down from the orgasm high. </p><p>He finds a sticky note attached to his gym bag after he gets out the shower. The handwriting is very messy, as though the words were only scribbled randomly and whoever wrote them must’ve done it really quick. ‘ENJOY IT WHILE IT LASTS’ is what it says. Jongin thinks it can’t be anyone other than Lu Han, or maybe Minseok, though he doesn‘t fully understand what they mean by the words. He doesn’t dwell on it. He dresses up quickly, dabs some foundation on the scar on his face and heads straight to his dormitory to get his wel-deserved rest.  </p><p>- </p><p>The results are announced within a week and Jongin is pleased to see his name on the list. </p><p>“Look who’s also made it, congrats Kim.” </p><p>His happy bubble bursts when he hears Lu Han nearby, an arm is once again slung over his shoulder in seconds. </p><p>“How does it feel to succeed for once in your life, Jonginnie?” </p><p>Lu Han teases and ruffles Jongin’s hair. With a snarl Jongin pushes him off. </p><p>“Fuck off.” </p><p>Lu Han barks out a laugh, but he keeps his grip tight on Jongin’s shoulders. </p><p>“Gladly.” </p><p>With force Jongin finally manages to get Lu Han off his body, and the brunette throws a shit-eating grin his way. Typical. </p><p>“Anyways,” </p><p>He starts, he shoves his hands in his pockets. </p><p>"We’re throwing a party, as the soccer team, because that’s what we do every year.” </p><p>He flexes his back muscles, groans when some of them lets out snappy noises and then casually gets back to Jongin, pointing a finger at him. </p><p>“And you’re invited too, obviously.” </p><p>Jongin raises an eyebrow, Lu Han yawns. </p><p>“Coach will add you newbies to the group chat. You’ll learn the details from there. Yada yada.” </p><p>He waves a hand dismissively, Jongin shakes his head in amusement. </p><p>”Right. Thanks, I guess.” </p><p>He says. This seems to awaken Lu Han’s playful side. With his arms above his head and hands gripping on his elbows, he leans backwards, his shirt slightly rising up and exposing his lower abs and hipbones. Jongin has to put in great effort not to stare, while Lu Han throws him a smoulder. </p><p>”I’ll see you tonight, yeah, pretty boy?” </p><p>He purrs, casually flirty. A shiver runs down Jongin’s spine again. Lu Han winks at him before walking past disappearing into the crowd in the college halls. </p><p>- </p><p>Jongin has had a particular interest in make-up for a while now. It all stemmed from his desperate attempts to cover his facial scar, and for a while he hated every single thing that came with it; he hated the heavy feeling of foundation on his skin, he hated touching it, he hated washing it, he hated even using it in the first place; but it grew on him in time. He doesn’t hesitate to spend some good money on expensive foundations now, like the ones that movie stars use, because he can’t risk his makeup fading and exposing his scar. Other than that, he’s also become bolder, more confident; using red-tinted lip moisturizers and eyelash curlers on a daily basis, sometimes even eyeliner if he’s really feeling himself. Very recently, after he’s started college, Jongin started to experiment with more makeup, no-makeup makeup in particular. </p><p>His roommate Oh Sehun quietly watches from his side of the room as Jongin puts on his makeup. Sehun doesn’t talk much normally either, he’s usually indulged in books as the hard-working literature major he is, but when he does initiate human interaction, he’s very easy-going and Jongin feels like they can actually be really good friends if they hung out more. Sehun’s silence is nothing Jongin isn’t used to, to say the least, but Sehun looks somewhat interested in Jongin’s business this time. </p><p>“Going somewhere?” </p><p>He asks before taking a sip from his hot chocolate mug, Jongin hums in response. </p><p>“I’m invited to the soccer team party.” </p><p>He answers, </p><p>“I made it.” </p><p>Sehun raises his eyebrows and gives Jongin an impressed nod, a small smile appearing on his face. </p><p>“I’m happy for you.” </p><p>“Thanks.” </p><p>There’s comfortable silence as Jongin curls his eyelashes one last time, then Sehun speaks again. </p><p>“Is there a special reason why you always put makeup on your scar, or do you just enjoy putting on makeup?” </p><p>Jongin’s whole body kind of tenses. He’s not sure if he wants to speak with Sehun about his most sensitive topic, not yet at least, so he decides not to reply. Sehun hums. </p><p>“Sorry, I guess I was inappropriate.” </p><p>He takes another sip from his heated beverage and puts on his earphones, directing his attention back to the Brontë in his other hand. Jongin leaves the room shortly afterwards. </p><p>- </p><p>The party is fun and all, but Jongin has to admit he’s feeling too much on the gayer side of his bi-scale tonight to flirt back with the girls that are hitting him up, he still chats and drinks with them though. Their conversation is interrupted with a loud wolf-whistle coming from the back of the frat house and Jongin turns his head to find Kyungsoo, their goalkeeper, being pushed onto the pingpong table by some girl. It’s no surprise to find sex in a college party, especially a party organized by soccer jocks, so he shrugs and returns to his conversation with the girls. Kim Junmyeon snorts out a laugh as he watches the short, bald goalkeeper.  </p><p>“Oh there’s no way in hell he’s returning to that beer pong game.” </p><p>As if to confirm Junmyeon’s presentiment, Kyungsoo passes them by, hand in hand with the girl from a minute ago, she’s dragging him up the stairs with a sultry smirk on her face. Jongin chuckles in amusement. It’s his first college party and he’s obviously very overwhelmed with everything that’s happening, but in a good way. He makes a mental note to maybe invite Sehun as well if ever there’s a next time. </p><p>“Hey Eighty-Eight! You wanna have go?” </p><p>Lu Han’s slurred voice fills up his ears and he turns his head back to glare at the Chinese boy grinning at him. Lu Han raises a beer cup on his honour and Junmyeon pokes him in the ribs. </p><p>“Come on kid, go get him.” </p><p>The girls look like they’ve lost interest in Jongin anyway, and Jongin also has no intention of sleeping with a teammate from the first night, so he leaves both the girls and Junmyeon to join Lu Han and the others to drink some more without looking desperate to socialize. </p><p>“Nice jorts, would love to see how they look on my bedroom floor.” </p><p>Jongdae winks at Jongin and earns a slap on the butt from Lu Han, jokingly scolding him for scaring the newbie. Jongin rolls his eyes but his grin doesn’t falter. He’s teamed with Zhang Yixing, also from the soccer team, and they’re playing against Jongdae and Lu Han. An orange pingpong ball is handed to him by Yixing. </p><p>“Newcomers gotta start first.” </p><p>Jongin doesn’t question, and he plays with the ball first, bouncing it a few times before making his shot; he makes it in. Yixing claps his back cheerfully and Lu Han rolls his eyes before grabbing the cup with the plastic ball. </p><p>“Good to see that your pong skills are better than your football skills at least.” </p><p>He digs, Jongin shrugs the spite off. Tonight he’s here to have fun, no catfights. </p><p>“Shut up and drink your beer, Lu.” </p><p>The crowd around them riles the bickering up with shouts of <em> ooh </em>s, but Lu Han settles down with a sly grin. He shoves a hand inside Jongdae’s back pocket and salutes Jongin with the red solo cup before chugging it in one go, the crowd cheers and Jongin shakes his head. Their quarrel quickly forgotten. </p><p>- </p><p>The game goes on for a while and Jongin plays better than he thought he would, but Lu Han and Jongdae still beat them up and the only thing Jongin gains from the game is intoxication and an urge to puke. By the time the drinks on both sides are over, Lu Han has Jongdae pinned against the pingpong table and they’re making out for the whole party to see. No one seems to be bothered by them, in fact, no one actually seems to care; no one, but Jongin.  </p><p>The weird tingly feeling is back, and it’s adding up to his nausea this time. Lu Han is shirtless; he’s lost it during the beer pong game, somehow, and Jongin sighs at the confidence radiating off him. The guy is really out here, licking into some other guy’s mouth, with his titties out in front of the whole crowd to see and he’s not even the slightest bit of insecure or ashamed. It’s no surprise he’s okay with this, Jongin thinks, because the guy has an incredible upper body; he’s some high quality eye-candy material. </p><p>Out of the blue Jongdae lets out a pliant moan and Jongin finds himself moaning against his beer cup as well. He wonders, in that drunk state of his eighteen-year-old mind, how would it feel to be on Lu Han’s position; having the confidence to be so exposed like this. He imagines himself in Lu Han’s place, shirtless, like eye-candy tier shirtless, with abs and chest packs and muscular arms without looking like a gym rat, and all the dominance and confidence running through his veins; Kim Jongin is absolutely positive that he hates Lu Han, especially now. When he stares some more, though, he realizes that he's also somewhat positive that Lu Han is the most beautiful human being he's ever laid eyes on, he’s got to give him that, which just annoys him even more. Man, he thinks, <em> fuck  </em>that guy. </p><p>Before he registers what he’s doing, instead of imagining himself being Lu Han, he’s now imagining himself <em> under </em> Lu Han on that table. He imagines himself in Jongdae’s place, legs wide open and Lu Han in between them, grinding against his crotch in agonizingly shallow, teasing thrusts, his heels digging into Lu Han’s back and his wrists pinned down by Lu Han’s dainty hands. Jongin’s never been a fan of topping anyways, the thought of being dominated by someone like Lu Han makes him restlessly chew on the edge of the cup in order to supress a moan. He snaps his head to another direction and makes a beeline for the kitchen to get more beer, the last thing he needs is wet Lu Han dreams and he’s determined to chug his way away from them. </p><p>- </p><p>The morning after, Jongin wakes up on a bedroom floor by a king size bed. Somebody’s foot is poking him in an irritating way, and he has a terrible headache that feels more like a marching band taking a stroll inside his brain, he groans and presses his face against the carpet floor. </p><p>“Dude, get the fuck up, you’re going to get cramps.” </p><p>The voice belongs to Kim Minseok as Jongin makes out, and with another groan and a nudge from Minseok he rolls off the the side and then up on his feet. His headache only gets worse. He closes his eyes tightly before taking a deep breath and leaving the room he woke up in. He has no recollection of what happened after he left Lu Han and Jongdae on the pong table, that being considered, he’s not sure if he wants to know what did actually happen. </p><p>He walks downstairs with only half an eye open, and almost falls off the last few steps, but he makes it to the kitchen in one piece. Lu Han is in the kitchen, he’s drinking water from a measuring cup and he looks like he got run over by an agrimotor, he even has the bruises to complete the look for some reason. Jongin realizes that those bruises are, in fact, hickeys, scattered across Lu Han’s broad chest and shoulders and some on his neck, a really dark one by his belly button. Oh. </p><p>“Yo, what’s that on your face? You hit your head or something?” </p><p>Lu Han’s voice sounds rasp and groggy, he‘s looking at Jongin‘s face, eyes squinted. Jongin frowns and absent-mindedly brushes his hair strands to cover the scar on the left side of his face, Lu Han raises an eyebrow. </p><p>“That shit looks pretty bad, Kim. ’s that new? You good?” </p><p>Lu Han gets up from his chair and takes a step towards him, and Jongin panics. He immediately takes a few steps away from the shorter male, making Lu Han stop in his tracks as well. </p><p>“Yeah, whatever. It’s nothing.” </p><p>Jongin tries to brush off, his headache has worsened, somehow. He sighs. </p><p>“None of your business, anyway.” </p><p>Hungover Lu Han looks more intimidating than normal Lu Han when pissed, he’s eyeing him up and down and despite his bloated, stupid face he makes Jongin grip onto the nearest surface as more panic floods his thoughts. </p><p>“I gotta go, right. Bye.” </p><p>Jongin stutters out awkwardly. He doesn’t even bother to check whether he’d forgotten anything, the mention of his scar simply making him want to bolt out by instinct. No matter how hard he tries to build up high and sturdy walls of self-confidence, they all come tumbling down when it comes to his scar. Bad memories, Jongin thinks, he picks up the speed of his walk to the dorms. Bad memories, of when he was in kindergarten, primary school, middle school, even sometimes in high school. Bad, <em> bad </em> memories. Jongin doesn’t need to be thinking about them, what he needs is some water, painkillers, and a shower. </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. No Need to Tell Anyone But Us Two</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span></span>
  <span>
    <span>Lu Han doesn’t bring up the scar for the following days, but that doesn’t stop him from constantly</span>
    
    <span>picking on </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> soccer skills and teasing him with snide remarks whenever they’re at soccer practice. </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> figures one of the reasons for which Lu Han is doing so is because he actually plays a lot better when Lu Han riles him up, but he also knows for a fact that Lu Han gets a twisted form of pleasure from seeing </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> so worked up and angry. At some point, </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> stops changing in the locker rooms and opts for his own room in the dorms instead, in order not to have more than necessary interaction with Lu Han, his dormitory is not very far away from the soccer field anyways.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>One afternoon he walks into the small dorm room particularly irritated, and he ends up unintentionally making poor </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> jump on his seat when he slams the door shut from behind. </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> quietly watches with his lips pressed into a thin line and his well-tended eyebrows slightly furrowed as </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> makes his way to their small bathroom like a hurricane, leaving trails of dirty clothes behind. He’s seriously frustrated, he turns up the heat and gets under the burning spray, from the bedroom side </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> can hear </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> huffing and puffing as he’s scrubbing his hair with soap and then with shampoo, groaning and mumbling curses under his breath, even turning around himself like a planet to let out the overflowing angry negative energy loaded up under his skin. </span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>At some point during his </span>
    <span>aggresive</span>
    <span> shower, </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    
    <span>very briefly registers the sound of the bathroom door hesitantly opening and closing, then there’s Sehun’s head peeking inside.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Hey…”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> gives him a gremlin-like growl in reply. It’s not unusual for them to use the bathroom at the same time, not for the same purpose of course, but they happen to be comfortable with one another’s nudity, so </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> doesn’t mind </span>
    <span>Sehun’s</span>
    <span> intrusion. </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> stands in front of the door awkwardly, opening and closing his mouth like a fish every now and then, hesitant to approach such a wild Jongin.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Do you </span>
    <span>–</span>
    
    <span>Do you, maybe, need help?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He mumbles. </span>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> stops digging at his own skin and twists his head to look at </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> over his shoulder.</span>
  </span>
  <span> He kind of looks like a serpent now, oddly. </span>
  <span>Sehun</span>
  <span> is amused by Jongin’s neck flexibility.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“…What?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“I can scrub your back or something, if you want.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> blinks a few times in confusion and tilts his head slightly to the side. His anger slowly dissolves as he tries to figure out why </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> would offer to, how to shall he say, bathe him.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“…Why?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> lets out a nervous sigh, and gives </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> naked back side a platonic once-over, kind of like a businessman checking out his product. Then he shrugs.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Dunno, you just… looked really tense and all…”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>There is a short period of silence before Sehun speaks again.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Also I can hear you grumbling and breathing out like a rampant bull and it really is not helping me while I’m trying to read a whole text in Old English.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Caught off guard, Jongin lets out a surprised laugh at the reply and he sees Sehun’s shoulders loosen up as well.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Sorry about that…”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> mumbles, this time a little ashamed of his bad behaviour as a roommate, his cheeks even turn slightly pink. </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> shrugs him off with a small smile, he gets it.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“It’s all right, I lost my focus anyway.” </span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> fidgets with his fingers before clearing his throat and leaning a little forward before making his offer again:</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>”Back scrub?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> considers the offer for a second. He knows some Korean families go to traditional baths and saunas, and have a bath all together, and </span>
    <span>Sehun’s</span>
    <span> family must be one of those, even though </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> never had the experience and is rather taken aback. But when he thinks about someone scratching his back it doesn’t sound half as bad, he gives in with a nod. </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> hands him the plastic bathroom stool and rolls up the sleeves of his </span>
    <span>pijama</span>
    <span> shirt as </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> sits </span>
    <span>down..</span>
    <span> Their shower doesn’t really have a door or anything that lines its borders, the whole room is the shower, so </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> makes his way towards </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> easily. He takes the washcloth Jongin hands him and pours shower gel all over it.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“So, tell me about your day. Think of this as a spa session or something.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> snorts out a laugh at that as </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> rubs the washcloth together to make it get all bubbly and foamy. A spa session, funny thing to imagine happening in a college dorm bathroom, but after a few back scrubs from </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> kind of starts to get in the mood.</span>
  </span>
  
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>”You</span>
    <span> know this senior I mentioned a few weeks back?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Lu Han?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Lu Han.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> confirms. </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> nods to initiate that he’s listening and carries on with his scrubbing, occasionally adding some sort of a massage to his movements and working out </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> kinks here and there.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“He’s being a pain in the arse.” </span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> complains. He slowly realizes that talking and getting his back rubbed is a whole lot a better way than grumbling and ripping off his hair. They should probably do this more often.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>”I mean, I’m used to his bullying, like he said he likes riling me up because apparently my performance is better when I’m angry – oh, </span>
    <em>
      <span>Good God</span>
    </em>
    <span>, right there…”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin moans out when Sehun presses the washcloth on a particularly tense spot and Sehun chuckles, doing as he’s told.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Have you and that Lu Han met before the auditions, or is he an ugly asshole that harasses pretty boys like you?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> chuckles at that, grateful for </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> to back up his Lu Han hate and throwing in a little compliment to lift up his spirits. Who knew some bromance could easily make him feel so much better?</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Yeah, we met back in high school, during soccer trials.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> cackles out a laugh, briefly leaning against </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> shoulder before collecting himself back up. </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> smiles, feeling like he’s finally bonding with his roommate. This turned out better and a lot </span>
    <span>less weird</span>
    <span> than he expected it to be, and he’s grateful.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> goes as far as massaging </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> shoulders and combing his conditioned hair as </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> rants and rants gradually turning into mush underneath his roommate’s skilful fingers. He throws his head back to rest it on </span>
    <span>Sehun’s</span>
    <span> clothed shoulder and they make eye contact.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Dude, how do you know all these magic hands stuff?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Sehun has a kind smile and a fond expression on his face as he massages Jongin’s scalp.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“I grew up in a small town by Gangwon-do and my friends and I would go to hot springs often. You get the hang of it if you do it often. My family also goes to hot springs a lot, and I’m the oldest cousin, so I babysat all of my younger cousins at springs too.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>His lips twist into a cheeky grin, then he pokes Jongin on the nose with his knuckle.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“So I know how to handle grumpy toddlers like you.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“Fuck off!”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> half-heartedly elbows him, his words carry no bite, and </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> lets out another loud laugh that echoes in the small bathroom. He gives the brunette a few pats on the shoulder before getting up from where he’s kneeled, taking a few steps back.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“I’m </span>
    <span>gonna</span>
    <span> go back to my book now, yeah? Are you feeling better?”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>The smile Jongin gives him is a genuine one, he nods his head.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>“A lot better, thank you so much, for everything.”</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> winks at him by the door and he closes it quietly before disappearing behind it. </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> takes his time finishing his shower, and he finds himself smiling. It’s good to bond with </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span>, one way or another. </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> glad he has him.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>-</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>After the boost he gained from his very intimate bonding session with </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span>, </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> decides to just break free. He stops giving Lu Han the silent treatment and the glares, the snarling and letting Lu Han win by showing just how annoyed he is; those days are over. Jongin starts to straight up challenge Lu Han. For every snarky comment he gets, he hits Lu Han up with a worse one, shameless attempts to rebuttal, tries to fluster him. He’s not very successful to say the least, but at least his attempts pull a reaction out of Lu Han, and riling Lu Han up even just a little bit is a win in Jongin’s book.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>Another thing </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> starts doing is going back to using the locker rooms to shower and change clothes. He still covers his scar diligently and carefully with professional waterproof foundation that he’s spent big bucks on, but he makes his presence known. He walks around, makes small talk with his teammates, including Kim Minseok, he forces himself out of his shell. Baby steps, he calls them, socializing and trying to defend himself instead of running and hiding away from his problems. By his problems he mostly means Lu Han.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>One thing </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> still wary of though, is that he makes sure not to walk in on Lu Han again mid-action. Other than that, he walks in on Lu Han almost-naked plenty of times, and he continuously has to admit that Lu Han has one hell of a body. It’s annoying, how the silver spoon pours glitter all over the senior, everything about him is so unrealistically well-crafted, he looks </span>
    <em>
      <span>expensive</span>
    </em>
    <span>. It drives Jongin absolutely nuts.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>One downside to </span>
    <span>Jongin’s</span>
    <span> insecurities about his own body is that over time, </span>
    <span>he‘</span>
    <span>s formed a habit of ogling other guys around him with better physiques, with Lu Han being his number one point of interest. It’s not his fault, really, it’s almost as platonic as looking at pictures of Zac </span>
    <span>Efron</span>
    <span> for inspiration; except that it’s not quite as simple as that. It takes </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> some time to admit to himself that he’s envious of Lu Han’s outline; he wants to acquire it, own it, wishes it belonged to him. It’s never fair, </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> can’t seem to hold muscle as well as Lu Han can, apparently, and they wear the same soccer uniform, but Lu Han carries it with such a grace that </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> feels out of place. The uniform looks like it was specially tailored for Lu Han, while Jongin’s feels like a hand-me-down.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>He shares his insecurities with </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> over a few cans of light beer one night. The more he drinks, the more he ends up talking about Lu Han. </span>
    <span>Sehun</span>
    <span> argues that </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> has a weird Lu Han fetish going on; </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> strictly disagrees. That night, before they doze off to sleep, </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> thinks about Lu Han’s body again. His arms, and chest, and gaze, and posture; Lu Han is no muscle pig, he’s even skinnier than most of the other sportsmen on college grounds, but he carries himself better than Greek Gods do. </span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>That night, in a limbo between sleep and sleepiness, instead of fantasizing about having a body like Lu Han’s, </span>
    <span>Jongin</span>
    <span> finds himself fantasizing about having Lu Han’s body all over himself. </span>
    <em>
      <span>Fuck</span>
    </em>
    <span>.</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>
    <span>-</span>
  </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Something triggers </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> on. He doesn’t quite register how it happens; all he knows is that he scores a critical goal with an assisting pass from Yixing, almost hitting their goalkeeper </span>
  <span>Kyungsoo</span>
  <span> in the face. The next thing he knows </span>
  <span>Minseok</span>
  <span> cheers out his name and Baekhyun and </span>
  <span>Jongdae</span>
  <span> lunge themselves at his body, a mixture of howls and cheers from the rest of the team and then, lastly, Lu Han slaps a hand on his nape. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> doesn’t understand why it happens, but Lu Han’s touch sends a cold shiver down his spine. The elder’s fingers trail up </span>
  <span>up</span>
  
  <span>up</span>
  <span> his neck and runs into his sweaty brown locks, Lu Han gives him a firm tug before ruffling the strands and </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> has to dig his fists into the dirt in order to muffle a moan. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the actual fuck</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Now you’re playing, Jonginnie. I loved that.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lu Han’s voice is breathy against the shell of his ear. It’s understandable, considering that they’ve been practicing and running around for a while now, everyone’s a little out of breath. But something about the sensation makes </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> limbs go numb. He groans out an awkward ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>thank you</span>
  </em>
  <span>’, and the game goes on. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> seems unable to push himself out of a particular headspace, he manages to pull through with the rest of the practice by staying behind and taking it easy, because he kind of has no other choice; he's somehow supporting a full-on boner aching between his legs, and it doesn’t seem like the dude is going to calm down anytime soon.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> sits on his ass on the locker room benches and waits for the team to clear out before taking his own shower; he’s feeling exceptionally hot and bothered and he wants to take his sweet time taking care of himself. It’s a painful wait, but he manages to distract himself enough by indulging himself in his phone, trying to beat his own high score in Temple Run to kill time. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>His boner is still awkwardly sitting between his thighs, twitching every now and then to remind </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> that it is in fact right there still, but </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> knows better not to give in. The rest of the team comes and picks at him as they’re changing in and out of their clothes, Baekhyun even goes as far as to try to take </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> top off, but </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> doesn’t budge. His knees are tightly closed, as though he is trying to balance an aspirin between them, he gets a few weird looks for it but he brushes them off, saying that he gets too excited while playing Temple Run.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>People come and people go, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> stays snug in his seat until the entire locker room is completely empty. He finally turns his phone off and throws the gadget into his gym bag recklessly, the frustration coming from his neglected boner rather overwhelming. It’s not something </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> prefers to do, the whole sexual activities in public spaces thing, but he feels like he can’t wait until he goes back to his dorm, and besides, Lu Han and </span>
  <span>Jongdae</span>
  <span> do it while there are people around, so he’s not the wildest of the bunch. He starts stripping out of his clothes, even the friction of his clothing against his skin is enough to make him bouncy and impatient. He can almost feel his dick sigh in relief when it’s freed from his boxers, precum drips down his shaft as if the dick is crying tears of joy.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> grabs a handful of small packets of lube from his gym bag along with his shower utensils before heading into to quiet showers area. He hangs his towel over the cabin door, places his shampoo, conditioner and shower gel on the upper metal shelf and the packets on the lower shelf. He doesn’t bother closing the door, something about the isolation and having the entire locker room to himself gets him going, he’s suddenly delighted by the idea of getting dirty in a public place without anyone knowing. Jongin then turns the spray on.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s irritating, really, having to run around with a boner that came out of nowhere, and it’s even more irritating to think that there might be some of Lu Han’s impact involved in the situation. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> truly can’t make any sense out of it, so he decides not to think about it and gets down to business, and the best way to shut his brain off is by diverting the attention elsewhere. Wasting no time, he lubes up his fingers with the first packet and squirts the rest of the lube directly down his crack before pressing the tips of his fingers against his rim.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Standing up with his back against the wall is not the most comfortable position to be fingering himself in, so he takes one for the team and sinks down on his knees, constantly reminding himself that he’s going to shower after this anyways. He massages his rim gently with his fingertips at first, eager to take his sweet time as he’d promised himself, and something about teasing the sensitive area is just a lot more arousing than any other time. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> wishes he’d brought at least a small vibrator along with his stuff, and he makes a mental note to do just that next time, in case of emergencies such as the situation in hand.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Despite promising himself that he was going to take his time, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> is not the most patient person out there, so he eases in his forefinger gently through his wet, slick rim. The stretch is nothing he isn’t used to, but as much as he’s enjoying the wet sensation of the water washing through his body, it’s also making the lube wash away. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> quickly gets up, grabs the rest of his lube packages, and sinks back down. He squirts out some more lube down his ass crack and spreads it around his rim once more before sliding in his middle finger along with his forefinger, pushing all the lube over the border into his very excited hole.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The addition of the second finger makes </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> let out a content sigh. He’s bent over awkwardly on the wet shower floor with questionable hygiene levels, but everything feels too good and he’s too busy catering to his cock’s needs to bother thinking about anything else. He thrusts in his fingers, spreading them apart from their roots and doing a scissoring motion inside to prepare himself for the third finger. Another squirt of lube is needed for the rings of muscles to finally relax and at some point </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> goes full on ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck it</span>
  </em>
  <span>’ as he positions himself properly with the palm of his free hand pressed flat on the surface and his face pressed against the back of his hand, hygiene levels of the shower floor no longer bothering him. There is no time to think about anything other than fingers up his ass.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The squelching sounds coming from his hole as he tries to pick a speed to finger himself are straight up filthy, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> lets out a pathetic, quiet moan. He scissors his fingers in and out for another few minutes and then he finally pushes in his third finger, letting himself openly moan out this time. It’s stunning; the feeling he gets from doing something so risky and so immoral for his own standards; </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> relishes in every moment of it, free as a bird. The stretch of the third finger is exactly what he’s needed all this time, apparently, and when his aching cock jolts into nothingness </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> groans out a curse in masochistic pleasure. </span>
  <span>It</span>
  <span> kind of burns, maybe he should add some more lube, but it would take too much effort and </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> is nowhere willing to move from his very comfortable, very </span>
  <em>
    <span>dirty </span>
  </em>
  <span>position.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s too out of his head as he desperately searches for his prostate to send himself off. It’s a process he’s grown used to by now, he knows his own body better than anyone; it only takes him a few experimental touches here and there until he finds just what he’s been looking for. He moans out loud.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <span>Yo</span>
  <span>, to </span>
  <span>whomstever’s</span>
  <span> out there, I forgot my towel. </span>
  <span>I’mma</span>
  <span> just take it and leave.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>His voice mixes in with the other voice that rings inside the locker rooms, and </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> curses at his own luck, why can’t he just have nice things? It’s silent for a few seconds, but then the intermission is too much for </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> in his desperate state of mind, so he presses the tips of his fingers against his prostate one more time just to experience the pleasure rush once more. His attempt at trying to muffle his moan miserably fails, and the next thing he knows he’s face to face with a pair of white </span>
  <span>Jordans</span>
  <span>. Oh man, just </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck </span>
  </em>
  <span>his life.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither of them </span>
  <span>speaks</span>
  <span> at first. </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> torn between facing reality and staying in his bubble of sexual pleasure, but he still mentally slaps himself for getting too carried away and not noticing the door of the locker rooms opening. It’s a heavy fucking door, too, how can he miss the loud screeching sound of it? It’s one thing to masturbate in a public place, and it’s another thing to do it so desperately, but it’s also a whole another thing to be caught doing that. It takes </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> some time to figure out what he should feel upon being caught splayed over the floor of a semi-public shower with three of his fingers deep in his ass, not to mention his relationship with the person that caught him, but the uninvited guest beats him to it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Should’ve guessed you’d be into some kinky shit, Eighty-Eight.”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lu Han’s voice is rather glottal, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> hears the elder clear his throat after speaking. It’s just the two of them in there now, </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> fingers still buried in his ass, and it’s even worse that Lu Han is not moving from his spot. Neither of them speaks.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>The anticipation makes </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> fingers spasm and jerk deeper unintentionally, and he lets out a loud moan, surprised from the action. His body shakes with the jolt of pleasure and he buries his face harder into the back of his hand. He’s never been in a situation like this before, let alone with Lu Han – his arch nemesis, and </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> is hit with another wave of shock upon seeing that he’s not that bothered with it as he’d thought he were. He’s not even slightly embarrassed.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lu Han’s breath hitches, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> holds his own. He’s achingly hard, and he discovers that he’s enjoying the attention. Attention from Lu Han. </span>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck Kim </span>
  </em>
  <em>
    <span>Jongin</span>
  </em>
  <span>, he thinks. It’s so weird, so weird; because Lu Han, that annoying piece of shit, is affected from walking in on </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> fucking himself open. It’s so weird, that the sole thought of Lu Han getting turned on is riling </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> up. He lets out an experimental moan and hears Lu Han grumble out something in his native language, probably a curse. Jongin breaths out a silent laugh, he’s amazed. Fuck it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Does it – Does it feel good, Jonginnie?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lu Han croaks out, and some of </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> tensed muscles slightly relax. He lifts up his face hesitantly, Lu Han catches his gaze halfway through and </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> almost moans again when he’s met with the same anticipation in Lu Han’s eyes that he’s feeling building up inside his own stomach. He slowly nods his head, too bothered with this freshly-discovered form of pleasure of being watched. It’s not like there’s anything he can do about the situation either, knowing that Lu Han probably doesn’t care, owing to that he fucks </span>
  <span>Jongdae</span>
  <span> in these same shower stalls when there are a lot more people around. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Go on, then. Show me how good you can make yourself feel. Let me see, huh, </span>
  <em>
    <span>pretty please</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> lets out a pathetic whimper. Something about the tone and the words Lu Han uses gives him </span>
  <span>goosebumps</span>
  <span>. He finds himself nodding obediently. This is how </span>
  <span>Jongdae</span>
  <span> must feel, then, huh.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>With his fingers still up his ass and the shower running still, it’s a little hard for </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> to put his head in the game, so he decides to readjust once more. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> sits back on his </span>
  <span>spread out</span>
  <span> knees, supporting his butt with the heels of his feet, and moves back a little to make better use of the running water. It’s still beyond his belief that he’s actually, literally and very virtually doing this, but yes, it is indeed happening, and </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> has every single right to have the time of his life. Because why not? There’s no going back now, might as well enjoy it.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now the hot water from the spray is hitting his chest and running down his front, he can use the rest of his lube much more efficiently. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> takes his fingers out once more, he hisses, Lu Han takes a deep breath. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> lubes his fingers up carefully before sticking all three of them back inside, he notices Lu Han’s eyes twitch with the action. It all feels so astonishingly good; the water, and his fingers, and being watched like this by Lu Han and even putting in some effort to put on a show. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He rides his fingers in minimal movements as he also thrusts them in and out, sounds of impure obscenity coming out of his hole with each motion, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> throws his head back in a breathy moan when he hits a particularly sensitive spot. Lu Han is not doing anything, pinned to his spot with his eyes fixated on </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span>, perfectly still as he takes in everything; every move, every sound, every sensation. </span>
  <span>Jongin’s</span>
  <span> cock is still painfully hard, brushing against his own stomach as he bends his body like the gymnast he is with ease, warm water occasionally washing down his precome away.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> doesn’t really register how much time passes until everything becomes too much, but the next thing he knows he’s on the verge of crying because his neglected cock is all red and throbbing and too sensitive. As much as he wants to keep playing with himself, he figures every good thing must come to an end. He groans out in frustration. Lu Han is still there, glued on his feet, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> bats his eyelashes at him, proud of the way he turned the tables into his own favour. Lu Han has to take a moment to pinch at the obvious bulge strained in his pants when Jongin reaches for the last packet of lube.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> doesn’t feel like taking his fingers out again, so he impatiently tears open the package with his teeth and squirts the gooey fluid over his hand; it takes him some time, but he manages to do it adequately. Lu Han looks like he’s in some serious agony, he palms his crotch and takes deep, deep breaths. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> hisses when his hand finally makes contact with his cock. It’s too sensitive for him to be comfortable, but he’s never quite felt this way before and he can very much overlook the oversensitivity for the sake of the much-needed orgasm.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> full on wraps his </span>
  <span>lubed</span>
  <span>-up hand around his throbbing erection and very carefully starts jerking himself off. Three of his fingers shoved up his hole move in sync with his hand, and moans start to pour out of his plump, bite-swollen lips. It’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>insane</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and very much against the morals he thought he had, but he’s too out of it right now to care. Impatient, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> quickens up the pace a notch. His hips jerk, and he fucks up against his palm, and then rolls his hips back down against his fingers. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Boy</span>
  </em>
  <span>, does </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> wish he had at least a small dildo up his ass right now. Or, maybe, as an alternative, Lu Han’s c–</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jongin – Jonginnie,”</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>Lu Han moans, his voice cracks at the last syllable, it snaps </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> out of those dangerous thoughts. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> waits for him to continue, but Lu Han apparently decides against it, pressing his lips into a thin line sticking to quietly watching instead, one hand still grabbing on his crotch. In a moment of haze </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> closes his eyes shut when his head starts to spin, he lets out a loud, glottal moan.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, God, oh fuck –“</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He’s a lot louder than he normally is, but he can’t bring himself to care, it’s all part of the ride. With a few more tugs on his cock and a gentle push towards his prostate he finally reaches his climax, and then everything is a blur. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>He comes harder than he’s ever came, and he can’t stop himself from milking it out, bucking his hips in and out of his palm and against his fingers, moaning non-stop. He’s disassociating out of his head, and he watches his come spur out of the tip of his cock in thick white strands, shower spray washing away some of it quickly, his sweat mixing in with the water. He can distantly hear himself moan, it’s breathy and it’s glottal; his body trembles with the aftershocks. He’s actually probably whimpering.</span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>In his blurry state of mind, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> makes out Lu Han leaning against the other shower stall in front of him. Time seems to flow differently; Lu Han is panting with his face tilted up towards the ceiling and his fist pressed tightly against his crotch, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> likes the view. </span>
  
</p>
<p>
  <span>At some point </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> closes his eyes, his gasps and pants are mixed with occasional moans, it’s a lot to come down from. He can hear his blood running wildly in his veins, and the sound of the shower spray, and later on, footsteps. </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> opens one of his eyes slightly, and catches a glimpse of Lu Han walking out of the shower area, he closes his eyes again, he can’t care about Lu Han now. Leaning his head back against the wall, </span>
  <span>Jongin</span>
  <span> lets out another loud moan, and the sound of the locker rooms’ door shutting close is what he hears from the other side.</span>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come talk to me on <a href="https://twitter.com/nexomimichan">twitter</a> and/or <a href="https://curiouscat.me/nekomimichan">curious cat</a> if you'd like, thank you for reading &lt;3<br/>-----<br/></p></blockquote></div></div>
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